Fact-Free Journalism
A Quick (Satirical) Look Inside Fox News
All right, Babcock. There’s less than a hundred days until the midterms. You know what that means, don’t you?
We need to start providing valuable information to our viewers so they can make informed decisions at the voting booth.
No, you idiot! We need to scare them to death so they vote Republican. How long have you worked here, anyway?
Just three months, sir.
Great, another rookie. OK, let’s get you indoctrinated. Here, look at this story: great video of thousands of young brown people breaching the border!
Wow.
I know, right? Here’s the headline: This is what America will look like if the Democrats win. Now, add this quote from Stephen Miller:
“Democrats did this to America every day for four years under Biden and will do it again instantly, but on a much larger scale, if given any form of national power. Democrats will see their home trampled and stolen by invaders and will rejoice.”
This doesn’t look like Texas. Or Arizona. It’s not happening here…is it?
No.
Where is it?
It’s Ceuta, in Spain, and the invaders are from Morocco. We hate Spain, so it’s all good. For clarity’s sake, make the subhead: Thousands of migrants invade the north coast of Spain.
The north coast of Spain is a long way from Morocco. How’d they get there? By boat?
No, they swam. Or walked.
Huh?
Well, technically, Ceuta is a Spanish territory. Right next to Morocco. On the African continent. Look at this map—see?
So they just ran over to the place next door. And most of them went back the next day.
So really, it’s no big deal.
OF COURSE IT’S A BIG DEAL. We’ve got an audience that’s spending more at the pump and at the grocery store. They’re not happy with the way the war with Iran is going, and Republicans have not offered any programs to help them. In fact, Trump’s making changes to Medicare that’ll make it more expensive to buy drugs, and—
And don’t forget the Epstein Fil—
WE DO NOT MENTION THAT WORD HERE. Is that understood?
Sorry. Won’t happen again.
Fine. Now, here’s your next story: Senator Mitch McConnell is still alive and issued a statement criticizing Dr. Anthony Fauci. Details coming up on Fox News.
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